You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
