Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
