Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
