whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
