Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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