all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
