Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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