Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize