the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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