do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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