honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
