I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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