Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
