my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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