How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
