I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
