Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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