Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
