Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
