Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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