now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
