Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
