i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
