is your mom at the bar?
honey bunches of taint.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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