i will never coherently bang her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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