I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
