This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
