Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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