we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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