I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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