Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
