come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
