the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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