I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
