I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
