We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
zippers are such a cool invention
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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