You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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