if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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