Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
