Welp...herpes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
foreskin is a definite game changer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
