I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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