This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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