they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize