Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize