Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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