You smell like stripper and shame
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
