By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
