2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
