thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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