What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
