Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
