I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
