Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
